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Axel: A CPR.
Mama: Maggie, what did you do at church?
Maggie: Jesus want me for a sun-BEEP!
Dad: Axel, look at that crazy lightning. It's really pretty, huh?
Axel: No, I don't like it. It looks like the earth is breaking.
Dad: Oh, was that yours? I just saw it sitting around and thought it was mine, so I ate it.
Axel: Oh, good! I intended for you to eat it.
Mama: Axel, your voice sounds funny. Do your tonsils feel ok?
Axel: They feel like strawberries that have been left out for too long.
While Alisha is changing Maggie's diaper:
Maggie: No Shucy [Lucy]! My poopoo!
By the way... our kids are TOUGH.