Is anyone still out there?

I haven't blogged in a while. I thrive on production - of producing tangible things. I love it. With my limited time, I have been creating, and blogging has fallen by the wayside. Latest and greatest stuff:

clothes from Goodwill turned into really cute clothes for my kids - for pennies!

metal strips attached to the wall in my kids room and coordinating magnets to hold the hundreds of works of art produced by their efficient little hands

Magnet board for Lucy's room

pillows for porch swing

new potted plants

painted all the cinder blocks the same color and replaced the dead bushes with live ones. I'm trying extra hard not to kill these ones too

Pulled out TONS of monkey grass - that is back breaking labor

and the most exciting... a hotter body. At least that's the idea. Who knew a person could run 11 miles and still have their looks-five months-pregnant belly? When I lose the false-alarm-belly I'll post a picture. Don't hold your breath!

No pic, but I also did a temple dress for a friend of mine - it turned out beautifully.

I will probably not be blogging anytime soon, because next up:

make cork board to cover conspicuous electric box (yes, I know it's against the law, Dad)

make art for beautiful frame I finished MONTHS ago

somehow turn a fabulous tree stump I salvaged from our neighbors yard into side table. Anybody know how to hollow and shellac a tree stump? That thing is HEAVY!

make Easter dresses for all three ladies in our family. (Paul has to work that day, so we don't have to coordinate his tie with our ensemble.)

Sand down, paint, and recover two excellent chairs I got at Goodwill for $20 bucks each.

And now because this has been horribly impersonal, I'll share some of my thoughts of late:

On a very typical day, during a very typical medical rotation, amidst all my typical chores, I had a revelation: Paul is the rock star of our family. He had just walked in the door. He was immediately tackled by Axel, because he's the fastest. He grabbed Paul's hand, "Daddy, Daddy, look at the pictures I made you!" Earlier that day Axel decided that Paul would love it if he made 4 excellent pictures and tape them up in various, visible, knee-height places. Paul, in fact, did love them. The ever snuggly Maggie rushes up begging, "Take down to Chine town, Daddy!" That's Paul's cue to pick her up and throw her on the couch. Of course Axel wants to be 'taken down to China town' too. Lucy crawls over to see what the commotion is about, is too cute to not pick up, and is covered in kisses by the biggest lips in our family. And, there are still kisses left for me, paired with a sincere, 'how was your day?' A few minutes earlier I was telling the kids, "Hurry and clean up. Daddy'll be home any minute. Let's have it clean for him!" The dinner is for Paul. If the kids don't like it, I'm ok if they starve. They're good scavengers. But I make dinner thinking, "Paul is going to LOVE this dinner." And he does. He makes sure to tell me how much he likes dinner. In fact, the kids mimic him, practically yelling, "MMMMM. This is De-Licious. You. Are. The. Cooker!" But the point is, even though Paul is gone a lot, we spend a lot of our time thinking about him, wanting him to be pleased, preparing for him to come home and be pleased. I pictured a red carpet rolled out through our front door and Paul walking in, crazed fans clapping and screaming, camera lights flashing. And I thought, 'that's a lot of pressure'. What about when he has a terrible day, or worse, when he's post-call and super tired, and his 'fans' are super crazed because it's been longer since they've seen him. He doesn't give in to his slugishness and sit down and just be cranky because he feels cranky and tell everybody to be quiet and give him some space. Well I guess he could do that, but it would really hurt everyone's feelings. So, no matter how hard and stinky of a day he has, he comes home happy. And after all the emotional energy it takes to be empathetic with and explaining to sick patients and sick patient's families, he comes home and keeps on expending that emotional energy at home to all the people who still need him to be 'available'. When does he get a break? And I realized I shouldn't complain when he wants to see a movie on date night.