Axel turned 6 on Friday and I kept thinking, 'In two short years he'll be baptized.' And it makes me a little bit weepy and sad. I hold a belief, that I cannot support with doctrine, that before the age of 8 the devil and his angels are not allowed to actively tempt children. That they can be subjected to confusion and pain because of the effects of the Fall and agency of others, but the adversary cannot try to get them directly. So this is doctrinally unfounded, but sounds like it might be true, and so I accept it as probably true and have viewed this time in my parenthood as my cramming session. This is where I have the advantage. He learns from Paul and me without much opposition. This is the arming stage.
So as we approach his eighth year, I examine myself and ask, "Am I helping him have enough experiences where he can feel the Holy Ghost and learn how God communicates with him? Am I asking him enough questions about his life to create a habit of openness between us? Am I teaching him from the scriptures answers to his questions, so he learns the value of the word of God? Am I being an example of a true Christian? Are we laughing enough together, so that he likes me, as much as I like him?" And the answer is... no and yes both, of course.
So I've thought of a few things I can do to up my game. And my heart feels like it's growing too big for my body as I am filled with concern and pride and confidence and worry about this person who has been entrusted to me. And if you know him, you know he's a substantial person and will be an asset to man and to God. A big spirit in a still little body.
Tonight, unsolicited, in his prayers he said, "Please, comfort Gramma Tena with the Holy Ghost, and that He will whisper to her that she will see Marco again soon." Maggie said, "Please help Gramma Marco to be resurrected." And my whole body smiles.
4 comments:
I recently found your blog, and am enjoying reading your perspectives on life. I think your frank explanation and heartfelt testimony borne to Axel was perfect. Thanks for sharing it with us, too. And my oldest is just a few months away from 8. Seriously, everyone always says how fast it goes, but I'm still shocked by the pace all the time. Sounds like I need to ramp up my parenting for the next few months....
Kristina H
Aye, and it doesn't get any easier. Jakob just passed the Sacrament for the first time yesterday and as I watched him do it, I just sat there thinking to myself have I done enough to prepare him for the responcibility and gift of the priesthood and am I still doing enough. It's tough being a parent these days. These little spirits coming to this world are, I'm convinced, much more spiritually mature and as their parents that's a little intimidating, so I feel exactly what you are saying.
I am crying now just because I love how honest and open children are to all things around them. Big hugs and kisses to the littles and to you and Paul.
Hey sister, I just so happened to use this quote in my last primary training for the teachers. I read it in the May 2010 Conf. Ensign by El. Eyring. "The family has an advantage in the first eight years of a child's life. In those protected years, because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, Satan's use of the mists of darkness to hide the path to return home is blocked."
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